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Her red hair whips around her face
The quick pace failed to keep it in place
Not for a race is her chase
The quick pace failed to keep it in place
Not for a race is her chase
But the longing to be free from this place
To feel the warm embrace of open space
From the life she feels trapped in
Walls that bind her within
She longs to explore a place she's never been
Not Constantly surrounded by her kin
At the thought she grins
She runs and runs
Though hot is the sun
She feels she has won
Against the things she has shunned
-Me
Though hot is the sun
She feels she has won
Against the things she has shunned
-Me
"This is not me!" When I wrote this poem, over a year ago, I would always present it with a disclaimer. I felt weird about the image of myself that it could portray. I felt like the people reading it would think at this is how I feel. I also felt perfectly content with the space that I had and the freedom that I possessed.
During the time that I created this poem my large family and I were living in a house that accommodated us all and the needs that we had. I had no obvious reason to feel trapped or overwhelmed, and frankly, I didn't. I had my own room and the house had lots of space. It was so big that maybe for a little while I wouldn't run into someone (literally). Space was not an issue and there was no reason to complain. Since then though, a lot has changed. Including how I relate to this poem.
Through an unexpected turn of events, which I won't get into detail in this post, I am now unfortunately living in a much smaller house with the very same huge family. With seven girls in one small bedroom, coping with the lack of personal space has become an issue to say the least. Tripping over things is a reoccurring event and constant sound is everyday life.
If I looked at a timeline of my life and had to guess at which point I wrote this poem I would, without second guessing myself, place it sometime during December 8, 2016 and today, November 2, 2017. No way would I pick a year ago. That wouldn't make sense. I had no reason to feel that way.
But now looking back, that little poem was foreshadowing today's feelings. Coincidence? Personally, I don't think so. I think that the One who can actually see the timeline of my life knew what was coming and inspired me to write this as a hint to what was to come. He knew that I would have similar desires to this fictional character and He was probably laughing at me when I would tell people that she wasn't me. Who knows, maybe I'll dye my hair red one day too! Then He'll really laugh! He knows who I was and who I will become. I, on the other hand, have no clue! And even when I'm given one, I obviously am still confused. :-)
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
Jeremiah 29:11
Your writing is so profound! I simply love to read the flow of words that you string together that sometimes I don't get the depth on the first read through. I'm so glad that you are blogging and using that platform to share a gift that you have been given. This post is a beautiful example of God's love for us and his Wisdom with every aspect, including timing, of our lives. Thanks for sharing yourself with us through your words.
ReplyDeleteSweets, this is my favorite post you've written thus far. It was so genuine and real. I know that your living situation right now isn't ideal. I can't imagine how frustrating some days may be. But I think you wrote the answer to those frustrations in this poem. Just like the girl in this poem, you can run to freedom and peace. Maybe not physically all the time, but to the freedom and peace found in Him. Praying for you during those frustrating moments. And also that no major injuries occur from tripping, haha!
ReplyDeleteOkay also this is a very long comment, but I just wanted to say that I think you could rock red hair if you ever decided you want to. Just go for it with confidence, girl! :)
Hello Sweet Pea. I am a Pastor from Mumbai, India. I am glad to stop by your profile on the blogger and the blog post. I have really enjoyed your post and your thoughts and poem centered around biblical truth which summarizes in the verse you have quoted Jeremiah 29:11. I am also blessed and feel privileged and honored to get connected with you as well as know you and about your christian faith walk with the Lord. I love getting connected with the people of God around the globe to be encouraged,strengthened and praying for one another. I have been in the Pastoral ministry for last 38 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a city with a great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love o f Christ to bring healing to the brokenhearted. We also encourage young and the adults from the west to come to Mumbai to work with us during their vacation time. We would love to have you come to Mumbai with your friends to work with us during your vacation time. I am sure you will have a life changing experience. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede. Looking forward to hear from you very soon. God's richest blessings on you, your family and friends.
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